Loneliness: An Epidemic

Humans- we are social creatures. It is simply a fact. Today the word 'intimacy' is, more often than not, associated with sex. Intimacy is so much more than that. It is love. It is affection and caring. It is deep attachment to a friend, a lover, a spouse, a relative. This blog is going to be all about how to develop and maintain long lasting healthy relationships for eternity.

From the time we are born, we are immersed into a world of intimacy- our family. We may experience many types of relationships on our "quest for intimacy". There may be stages in between these relationships where we experience the opposite of intimacy-loneliness. "Social scientists distinguish between social loneliness and emotional loneliness. Social loneliness means you have less interpersonal interaction than you desire. Emotional loneliness means you have fewer intimate relationships than you desire. Emotional loneliness can result from a lack of romantic intimacy or family intimacy or both" (Van Baarsen et al. 2001).

Being lonely is not the same as being alone. Some people actually prefer a certain amount of "alone-ness" or isolation. This does not mean that these people do not have the deep desire for intimate relationships. Having frequent human interaction simply is not enough. It may fulfill the need to be social, but not the emotional need for intimacy. I believe that we are blessed to live in a day and age with the technology to do just about anything. But I also firmly believe that this generation is being absolutely (for lack of a better term) brain washed by social media. Sure, social media can be a great tool for connecting with people and networking for businesses. But let's be honest, most people are on it to either seek approval from others or to compare their worst with another's (most often strangers) best. The relationships and interactions exchanged over social media are less than genuine. Youth today are growing up TRULY believing that their worth is based entirely on their physical appearance.

With these consistent patterns of superficial interaction, long-term needs are not being met. Through personal observation and experience, I can confidently say that this generation is the loneliest generation to date. What are the consequences of loneliness? "Higher rates of physical and emotional health problems, depression, difficulty in controlling moods and thinking patterns, proneness to addictive behaviors, low energy, and feelings of fatigue" (Hawkley et al 2003) (Adams, Sanders and Auth 2004). Excessive loneliness can cause depression to worsen and therefore cause the affected person to isolate themselves further, deepening the loneliness. It is a downward spiral.

A study was conducted by a psychotherapist where they worked with severely mentally ill patients. She was able to "mark the beginning of health and recovery in a patient from the time he or she commits to interacting with others." A profuse amount of research directly links intimate marriage relationships and family dynamics with well-being. From the time we are born as infants, our relationships with our mothers and fathers lead to the level of healthy development. Intimate relationships in early childhood determine levels of self-esteem and emotional aptitude in adulthood. For young adults/college students, being in committed relationships leads to higher levels of happiness and overall well-being.

Intimacy is not given to us by chance. It is a necessary tool and gift by which we develop into healthy and happy individuals. We were never meant to be alone. Having loving relationships meets a vital need in our progression.